Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Missing Pilot LIVE BLOG

Missing premieres Thursday on ABC, but Imdb already posted the first episode. The conceit of the show is: A former CIA agent's son has been kidnapped, and she'll do anything to get him back. I have created a live blog that you can read while you watch the show on its premiere or you can watch it early online. Enjoy. 

Link to pilot episodeMissing

Ashley Judd is running in a jogging suit, hot, and said she’s going to get a bubble bath. Not bad form in the running either. I heard today that exercise is good for you, is this true?

Her husband is Sean Bean, I think he’s a substitute for Liam Neeson, later Judd will prove she’s better. It’s the obvious comparison, no matter what, this show will be compared with Taken. It simply reversed genders of the characters on us. Sean Bean could easily be substituted for Liam Neeson in almost any movie and so that’s why he is here, it shows without a doubt that Judd is cooler than Neeson. By the way Sean Bean got stabbed at a bar and then ordered a drink, Liam has not. True story.

Dad gives son a tea pot in exchange for a soccer ball because the soccer ball was too hard for the son to carry. This tea pot will have significance. Guaranteed. Random tea pots just don’t exchange hands between father and son. Movie fact.

Ashley Judd thinks when she runs. This is good news since she runs down people for a living.

Her name is Becca.

Husband and wife met in Vienna.

Ok, Becca just said “to have a safe flight.” Nothing can go wrong now.

3:14: Dad’s truck just exploded. Sean Bean may be dead, however he sent their child back into the hotel, alone, to grab a soccer ball. Hmm… is he faking his own death? Or does Sean Bean just die in everything? National Treasure, LOR, Goldeneye (best Bond Villian in my opinion), Death Race 2, and more. He’s great at dying. I really believed he just exploded inside that car, even though they didn’t show him exploding inside that car. 

Oh, he has a death reel: includes death by cows. I still love the 007 Death, where James Bond let's him go by the leg, but we can't see James Bond be that evil, so even when he hits the ground from 100's of feet above, he's not dead until the giant satellite falls on him. Totally not Bond's fault. 

3:15: 10 years later. 10 years seems like one of the most common movie jumps in time, it’s that or 2 years, 9 months, 6 months, or 5 years. Very rarely do we get specific jumps like 7, unless it’s a historical drama.

Ashley Judd now sprints with her son, who’s all grown up. Her son just won the race for the first time in their relationship.

Weird, but this actor has a giant bulge swinging in his sweatpants. I was looking at her boobs too, ok? Gosh.

“I’ll always protect you Michael, it’s my job.” –I believe this will be one of many direct from the Mom Bible quotes

Son is going to school in Rome, site of her husband’s death. I’m still upset that Sean Bean may already be dead. I was so excited to see him and then dead. It feels a little like when Steven Segal died prematurely in Executive Decision. But I’m predicting he’ll be back because Sean Bean and death don’t mix, he already came back to life in GoldenEye, he may have the record for coming back from fake deaths.

Let me just say in the fake 10 years, Ashley Judd doesn’t look like she aged a fake 10 years, looking good still.

Flashback: Hugging son after he comes home from father’s death. Martin brought him home, he looks like a suspicious character, says, “I would do anything for you, you know that.”

Becca has decided to let her son go to Rome. I have a sneaking feeling that this is going to go badly. It occurs to me that the best kidnapping are happening to college kids in Europe. There’s something classy about a European kidnapping, I mean if you’re going to spend time with kidnappers and only hear their voices, I am sure it’s nice to hear an accent. America is losing our hold on another industry.

Becca’s African American friend explains why she gave the son a pamphlet on STDS stating, “Honey, he’s in Europe.” Also used hotdogs as a euphemism for sex, she does not have a name yet.  I have a favorite character. She has to be a CIA agent to make that kind of joke, right?  

Son may already be kidnapped … He has not texted his mother in 3 days. All mothers think this, I’m certain of it. Probably why they ask you, “Are you eating?” in any phone conversation, but when you are actually kidnapped it’s “Are they feeding you?”
(Side note: when my mother texts me it comes out in random letters looking like she’s cursing at me, and I am positive she’s not just make typos, most look like strange twists on Greek letters. Two possible reasons: 1. She is 2. Her phone is so old my Iphone doesn’t understand that communication.  3. She’s been kidnapped… Maybe I should text back…

Neurotic mom as CIA agent hunting down her son must have been a great pitch when this was conceived.

Oh NO! She just got bad news. Michael moved out of his dorm, missed three lectures and got kicked out of the architecture program. This is not like Michael.

Judd already is in ROME to find him. Teleportation not likely, but like to think she ran there. I’m telling you she was that good in the first scene.

“Mom’s hold phones farther away from them when reading it.”- Peanut Gallery

Mom searching son’s contacts, not to spy on what her son is doing, well wait… yeah that’s what she’s doing.

Judd is about to kill a guy with a coat hanger.

“Watching a man beat a woman is weird”- Peanut G
Completely agree, although Judd is now kicking his ass and it looks legit too, not sloppy like a real fight. She just used the other guy’s momentum against him (only know this from Degree commercials with Bear Grylls).

Judd kill count: 1

Sean Bean nails second credit in the title sequence behind Judd, positive he’ll be back.

“So I just killed the only lead I had for Michael?” That’s such Mom thing. Mom’s do that. Classic Mom moment.

She’s in the PFA and PTA, that’s on her CIA record. I love this.

CIA Europe stationed in London is hunting her down now.

Hunted down son’s ex girlfriend. Girl just pulled out coke in front of Judd, “What are you doing, you’re a beautiful girl you got your whole life ahead of you.” It’s strange I’ve always imagined my mom as a retired CIA operative that teaches 1st grade. This show may create a whole new branch of psychology, no longer are we interested in Oedipus Complex, we in the digital age have higher requirements in wanting to sleep with our mothers, they can’t just look good, they have to have a kick ass job.

Girlfriend or groupie of son is now dead. Judd takes deaths of other very well, very Liam-like.

O no… her helper in Europe is having a very sexual moment with her, helping her take off her clothes with her bruises.

She’s in the bathtub now, it took 10 years, but she made it. Helper guy (Giancarlo) is now washing her back, they have a history, I’m uncomfortable, that’s my Mom dude.

This Mom knows how to use a computer. More impressed with this than with her ability to kill someone with a coathanger.

I have to wonder about the show’s franchise. Where can this go after say 2 seasons of not finding the son? Say he’s found in season 2, does he get re-kidnapped in season 3? Wait I solved it, she rejoins the CIA and she searches for others’ missing children. This could go on forever like Law and Order.

O Classic Mom line in response to learning  that the CIA will track her at the airport: “I’LL SWIM!!!”

This is absolutely the perfect show for Moms and sons to watch together or daughters for that matter.  I already want to know what my Mom thinks of this or whether she would like it.

The scenery is beautiful in this. No my Grandma didn’t say that, it was me.

Fight scenes are filmed in the dark, really makes the fight sequences seem more realistic and less stagey. Great idea by lighting crew.

The kidnapper have been stalking her child for a long time, they have pictures of him when he was young… Sean Bean? Yeah? Yeah. The guy got stabbed in real life and went into a bar and ordered a drink, you can’t tell me he can’t get blown up still kidnap someone.

Judd just got shot and fell into the water. I’m praying to God that she lives. If he exists, he will make sure she does not die right now… awkward, end of the episode. Although, there is an episode two… so I’m going believe that we proved God’s existence.

Good night everybody. 

The Hollywood Defender

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