Sunday, April 29, 2012

Surviving on an Island with TV Commercial Products

The question: If you were stuck on a desert island and could only use the products advertised to you by your favorite show, would you survive?

The rules are simple:

1.     Record the products (not services, like a movie, or website, nor can it be just that store. For instance, it could be a Wendy’s chicken sandwich, but not just Wendy's)
2.     Analyze the products
3.     Survive or die

The following are the products from an Episode of Smash from ON DEMAND ( a show directed toward females):

Tj max
Progressive insurance
Farmers insurance
1% cash- B of A

Honda civic (sorry no gas)
Bmw (vacation shelter)

Analysis: So Chevron and Shell didn’t advertise, which means you’re out of luck, but since you’re on a desert island, there’s not a lot of places to drive anyway. Both cars should provide an adequate shelter from the elements and a comfortable place to sleep, and nice trunk space to store coconuts and food.

McDonalds, premium chicken sand and 3rd pounder
Hellman’s mayonnaise

Sadly the premium chicken and 3rd pounder already are doused in mayonnaise. The mayonnaise would eventually rot and cause bigger problems than it’s worth. But the 2 sandwiches could probably provide you with a week worth of food. Damn McDonalds for not giving you a Coke to drink with it. I will never complain about bottled water commercials again. What would you trade for a PUR water filter at this point?

Dove nutrium body wash
Claritin clear
Mabeline NYE super stay 14 hour
Angel soft toilet paper with 70% more sheets

Good news, you’ll be staying clean and beautiful to disguise your starvation, when they find your body, you’ll be wiped clean, with no zits, beautifully dove soft skin, and 14 hour lipstick. The bad news you’re dead, but it’s better to live in luxury even when you’re dying.

IPHONE with siri
Droid Razor max
Samsung galaxy note

No cellphone reception on an Island, you could talk to Siri until her battery runs out and set a calendar for things (like Zooey DeChannel and Sam L.) you’ll never actually live long enough to do.

The lucky one movie- efron
Betty white’s off their rockers
Law and order svu
America’s got talent
Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Today show

Depending on when you get stranded, the better off you are. If it’s now, you only get the tease of the Olympics, which are always so amazing that they do have the ability to make you forget that we are all dead. The Olympics only being a little while off could give you something to do, like train for them, and then put in a request for country approval so that you could compete.

All these shows are great, oh, you don’t have a TV. Yeah….

Survival time: 3 days. (Hope you’re found). 

The Hollywood Defender

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