Thursday, May 10, 2012

Face/Off: Travolta v. Evil Travolta

If you've been reading the celebrity gossip or hell the jokes on the internet, you're probably wondering why your favorite person ever and all around good guy, John Travolta was possibly trying to fondle his male masseuse it’s cause it wasn’t him.

You say, “What do you mean it wasn’t Travolta?”

Well, it sort of was, but really.

You say, “What do you mean?”

I’m saying, “Yes, it was John Travolta. Sort of.”

You say, “What?”

I say, “It was his body. But not Him him.”

You say, “Fuck you” And then you leave.

I say to myself, “I guess you've never seen the modern classic Face-Off.”

In case you haven’t and are still reading, here’s the basic premise:.due to advancements in face transplant technology, John Travolta goes undercover as Castor Troy (Nicolas Cage). Meanwhile, Castor Troy goes undercover as John Travolta and has sex with Travolta’s wife and perhaps his daughter. Look at the sexual perversion in the following clips and tell me that these so called sexual intrusions by Travolta are not completely in line with the actions of one Castor Troy: 

skip to: 1:52

I dare you to tell me I'm wrong that Castor Troy isn't capable of masturbating on the massage table after  he tried to seduce the masseuse. Dare you. 

Now in 1997, Face-Off technology did not exist, but considering the advancements in face transplant (Link) surgery we can assume that it now does especially high up in the government. Due to Cage’s unbelievably great performance as Troy, we can assume he based it on a real psycho, who now has actually use Face-Off technology to imitate John Travolta. Our only hope is that Nic Cage exposes this fiend before it is too late for Travolta’s reputation. 

The Hollywood Defender

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