Saturday, May 5, 2012

Midnight at the Avengers: 12:04 is not 12:01

It’s weird when you go to a premiere of a superhero movie and you and your friends happen to "out weird" the rest of the people there. I went in Hollywood Defender attire (which I did not steal from the Lone Ranger) and my friend went as Boba Fett, whether or not he knew that the next day was May the 4th (Star Wars Day) is uncertain. We walked slowly to the back of the line that surrounded the theater to cheers for Boba and “Who the Fuck is he?” for me.

I wanted to get to the line a day early, but no one was up for that type of commitment. I was also disappointed to find out that there was no need to purchase tickets until that night and not three weeks earlier. But who cared I was going to see the movie with millions of others seeing it at the same time. Or so I thought on both accounts.

We got into the theater and ended up with seats 4 rows from the front, the Hulk would have appeared even larger and would have been tea-bagging us for the entire film. Another one of my friends who had bought tickets at a later date, ran into our theater, “Yo dude, there’s a bunch of seats left in ours. We got four saved for you guys.” I sent Boba to scope out the situation, he returned guaranteeing that the seats were indeed superior to our own. So we gathered our popcorn and headed over.

The seats were unbelievable, dead center, a perfect vantage from which to view Robert Downey’s smarminess (also next to a 45 year old Captain America). Then it got to be 12:00, which meant for me starting to yell out, “Start the fucking thing. And by fucking I mean amazing!” I realized after 3 yells, that midnight showing actually don’t start until 12:01. 

Stupid me. Then it got to be 12:01. “You fuckers start the show!” Boba turned to me, “Dude, this one starts at 12:04.” The other had started at 12:01 on time.

There have been few times, when I have been pissed. Yes it was only a 3 minute difference between this and the other theater, but damn it I bought tickets 3 weeks in advance. I wasn’t seeing the premiere anymore, I was seeing the 3 minute later premiere. I sat there, pissed through the entire Dark Knight trailer. At the end of the phenomenal trailer I yelled, “Where’s the Joker? O yeah, he’s dead!” This should be considered a low point for me.

Then the Spiderman trailer to which I yelled, “Where’s Toby? O yeah, he’s gone!”

Then the movie started and I loved it. This is why I love the movies because they can change your view on the world and cheer you up like nothing else in the world. A good movie is so much more than a good movie, it’s my anti-anxiety meds. 

They are what I live for. And at the end, I stood and gave a standing ovation or maybe that was 5 minutes in. It’s hard to remember. 

The Hollywood Defender

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