Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Nic Cage Fan of the Week Acceptance Speech

The Official Nicolas Cage Fan of the Week Award

Did I cry upon receiving The Nic Cage Fan of the Week Award? It’s hard to say because I couldn't see because there were water droplets in my eyes  and also streaming down my face.

As I stared at my trophy (that I may or may not have constructed myself) to commerorate my greatest achieve in life thus far and probably ever, I saw Nic Cage’s essence rising from the lamp of knowledge,  and I knew in that moment that years of struggle for excellence in all things Cage had finally come to fruition.

And now I will take to explaining the importance of “Nic Caging” (as I like to call it) in my life.

I had my flirtations with Nic Cage as a young lad, I loved Con Air, I had seen parts of The Rock, but I was yet to hear of the classics like Vampire’s Kiss and Peggy Sue Got Married. It took awhile for me to come around to him actually. For awhile in high school, I was just another one of the uniformed Nic Cage Atheists that plague our society with anti-Cage rhetoric. How naïve I was.

 It wasn’t until I read a defense of Nic Cage by Roger Ebert that I immediately rented Matchstick Men, and set my eyes on an actor of maginificent proportions. Then I rented Leaving Las Vegas, then another, then another.

When I saw trailers for Season of the Witch, Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and Drive Angry, I knew that there was no other actor like this on earth or probably anywhere else. He said strange things that somehow made too much sense: “If it was haunted and there was proof of that, that would be an incredibly positive thing because that would mean life continues.”

I devoted myself to discovering as much about him as I could, starting with a research paper in an acting class, where I tried to uncover the truths of Nic Cage’s own acting style that he dubbed Noveau Shamanic, which I explain in length in another blog (Nouveau Shamanic and Cage).

After that I penned a 118 page screenplay called Caged-In about a man loosely based on Nic Cage, who ends up in a very low budget independent film.

Then a blog with an absurd amount of Nic Cage entries, which launched the same night as Ghost Rider: Spirit of a Vengeance.

Then a comic also loosely based on Nic Cage, about a post-apocalyptic Hollywood run by the Comcast conglomerate.

And most recently, fascilitating Nic Cage’s graduation from UC Berkeley (Cal Cage).

And now an acceptance speech for winning Nic Cage Fan of the week. Trying to craft the perfect blog for this has been extremely difficult, mostly because I don’t win things, ever. But I know I have to thank people.

 One being my ex-girlfriend, who if you can believe it, fully supported my obsession with another man. She was tirelessly and devoted as I was to the man who brought us Cameron Poe, we spent many a date night glued to a television watching Nic Cage movies, in fact skipping the SuperBowl to devote ourselves to a Cage marathon.

But it didn’t stop there, our first real date was to Drive Angry 3D, and if you’re ever wondering if someone loves you or not, the real test is to have them sit through this movie with you and not question you once while you’re there. And you’ll know if its real for sure, if they rise at the exact same moment as you to give it a standing ovation.

Or making the perfect t-shirts for the Ghost Rider 2 premiere or buying me a book because the cover guy looks like Sir Nicolas. If anyone deserves this award it’s her.

 And of course to my parents, who forgot my birthday, but remembered Nic Cage’s and a cake for me... or him.

 This is goes to show those of you that never believed that I could dedicate my life to something meaningful and worthwhile and that I would never amount to anything. Well jokes on you. I'm now in the ranks of the guy who was watching Nic Cage sleep while eating a Fudgicle naked. “Viva la fucking France, man!”  

Donnie, Low Rider? 

Thank you, 

The Hollywood Defender

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