Wiseman directs his film as if it's a shark... But really, it's more of a _______, shiny and pretty but fat and dopey, fed on nothing but scavenged leftovers.
Questions, questions nip at Len Wiseman's Total Recall like so many _______ at the feet of a sleeping ________. The big Why is Why bother?
Answers: Rats, Hobo
Though many of the jokes land, some of them feel like a game of ___________________.
Answer: penis-related Mad Libs
The Watch is a studio __________ marinated in _________ that stinks worse than ______________.
Answers: turd, eau de skunk, week-old fish
The Bourne Legacy
The Bourne films have more than just overstayed their welcome and outlasted the Ludlum books -- they've been ________________, with an abrupt change of frontman and a resulting dip in personality.
Answers: Van Halenized
The Dark Knight Rises
Speaking lines they cannot possibly understand, not one actor makes any attempt to be believable. So manufactured and synthetic that they eventually lose all sense of reality, they're like reconstituted _________ and processed ________________.
Answers: orange juice, cheese
"Hope Springs" panders with the clumsiness of grown-ups trying to do ____________ dance moves.
Answer: "Step Up"
Score 0: You either love all these movies or put in more vile answers, possibly comparing Total Recall to Roger Ebert’s penis.
1-5: You’ve been reading reviews or got to lazy to finish the quiz deciding that the distain for these films was lacking and not worth your time.
5-8: Lazy Plagiarist, if you’re going to out of your way to look up the reviews at least spell cheese without a fourth “e”
9-10: Start a blog that no one reads.
The Hollywood Defender