Saturday, August 4, 2012

Total Recall: Men V. Women Fights and More


Usually in action movies, the male lead has a girlfriend that he meets at some point during the action and follows him around. Then when the final showdown takes place they will divvy up the badguys based on gender. However, sometimes it so happens that men fight women and it’s awesome. Cinematic violence against women only works when the woman gives as good as she gets.

The new total Recall provides grueling fights scenes between Colin Farrell and Kate Beckinsdale that are about as knockdown dragout as they get on the level of They Live.


 Brutal violence, which in the real world isn’t funny, but when a woman goes toe to toe and blow for blow with a  man in the movies it’s spectacular. Here’s a list of some of my other favorites:


Xenia Onatopp v. James Bond

It's still fun to fight her in the GoldenEye Video game, and dear N64, no Jungle is that hard to see in ok? Green mist? Took 2 months off my life.
Skip to 3:00 

James Bond v. Bambi and Thumper

Sad that he ends up simply dunking them in water.


More Bond vs. Onatopp

Onatopp, get it? Sex! Not sure if knowing this as a kid would have made me enjoy it more.



Arnold v. Sharon Stone
Watch Arnold's face on the nutshot, it's a GIF waiting to happen, if it isn't already.

In spanish 


Nic Cage vs. women
Nothing better than Cage in a bear suit striking women and then being punished for it.


Other thoughts on Total Recall:

I love any movie with futuristic packaging for products for example the Pepsi in Back to the Future II. Anything that makes soda more impractical to throw away I'm immediately attracted to. In the future, you'd think we'd make things much more sustainable, nope, in Total Recall Heineken comes in a metal fortress of a container.




Shout out to Chinese Mysticism in Total Recall, society is advanced, but not Chinatown, even their Total Recall chair looks archaic. Of course there are little advances like digital readouts on their boat taxis, however the boats still look like this:



What else can you find in Chinatown? The  Rekall service, which provides memory implants run by Harold from Harold and Kumar and a three breasted Hooker service, which provides insults to our hero by questioning his masculinity for not having three hands (BTW if I had three hands I know I wouldn't set out looking for someone with three boobs, there are millions of benefits to having three functional hands than just boob squeezes. Having a third would provide an evolutionary advantage and allow you to crush the competition at work, sports, and texting). I understand that it's supposed to be the Colony and not as well off, but the Colony was depicted as Chinatown for the majority of the film, it sends messages.




Obama Money, gotta have it in Total Recall. As weird of a moment as when Al Gore was President in The One. I couldn't figure out the political statement being made here, but I narrowed it down: 1. Obama was awesome 2. Obama's the reason society sucks in the future.


Mixing of British and American accents. 
The film starts off with intertitles explaining that there's a United Federation of Britain or something like that (hard to remember and never really important). We never get a Colin Farrell accent, although Beckinsdale alternates to a British, very few others have an accent.

If you have blood streaming down your face and you're walking through a public space, you're not inconspicuous, however I agree with Total Recall that you should be, it's your business that you have blood running down your face, not anyone else's.

Hand holding. Jessica Biel's a total badass in this movie as well, a strong independent woman of the Resistance. Yet while running away from the bad guys she and Colin hold hands... true love.



The Hollywood Defender



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